The world was stunned by Thursday May 6th’s stock market activity and so I couldn’t resist poking some fun at it. Humor breaks the tension, right?

Here’s the list:

“It was a wild day on Wall Street Thursday with the Dow losing 347 points. In other financial news:

• Helium was up.
• Feathers were down.
• Beef steered into a bull market.
• Paper was stationary.
• Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
• Pencils lost a few points.
• Hiking equipment was trailing.
• Elevators rose.
• Escalators continued their slow decline.
• Weights were up in heavy trading.
• Light switches were off.
• Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
• Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
• The market for raisins dried up.
• Coca Cola fizzled.
• Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
• Balloon prices were inflated.
• Diapers remain unchanged.”

hs